Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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