Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
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I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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