ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
