You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
