There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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