Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
