I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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