so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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