Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
