party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
