I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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