laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize