he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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