please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
