Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
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Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
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Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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