i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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