I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
