I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
