I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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