wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
