I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's great music for shaving your balls
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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