Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
