Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
