yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
