Got a toothbrush?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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