Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize