I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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