found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
