my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Randomize
