thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
