Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
