I want to have your abortion
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
