Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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