you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
