put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
