ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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