We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
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My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
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It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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