I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
