My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
