whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My hand turned me down
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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