maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
