I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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