My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
