Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
