But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I cut my penus on the lid.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
