Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So squirting runs in the family.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
