I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
