i think i have herpe
just one?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
