I wish I could teleport
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
