Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
