I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
