VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
