Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
