I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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