Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
