I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
